Body Dysmorphia and Disordered Eating

My Ongoing Journey to Self-Acceptance

I’m not going to lie , even with all the information I share and developments I have learned about loving your own body , I still have phases where it’s really really bad.

I grew up experiencing body dysmorphia as well as disordered eating , I would severely punish myself into not eating certain foods and over exercising to fit into society and its ideals and then over indulge myself because I was so stressed out and depressed.

I’ve never felt I’ve had much control over my body and growing up I never felt I had much control over who I was and how I liked to do things.

But I am aware this isn’t no longer a bad thing, I have spent most of my life trying to stop my thinking , control my thinking or get rid of my thinking.

I found it really hard to concentrate at school, I Would constantly be twitching, talking, daydreaming, doodling and or debating subjects to keep my mind stimulated because the lessons Numbed my ass off deeply.

I was bored , it got worse as I got older because my imagination got less and my logic developed more. But my logic wasn’t always logic it’s was catastrophes of the most simple things. So I would over eat sweets and chocolates to get a hit.

I was on edge the vast majority of the time, then I found alcohol at 14 and every weekend I would hang out and get drunk with my friends and it was a laugh but more so it was fantastic slow my thinking down and not be anxious with its drama.

I could breathe, I felt I could be more myself because being sober, just made me feel like being in my body and head was disastrous!

Then coinciding with how you learn in a environment where unless your always getting top grades and doing as you are told and abiding , you’ve often become confused and or disappointed with living as you are.

Your told your future is bleak and it can bloody well look like truth. (the Shirley valentine resemblance, fuck me that’s a fab film! Anyway I again am distracted 😂)

I found holding down jobs torturous , sticking to one interest exhausting and being ready to learn things but not being stimulated by the learning environment debilitating .

Until I went back to university at 28 to study complementary healthcare.

I had a break from education and I was ready to learn, it was so practical and engaging , yet mixed with a fair bit of hippy shit and diversity I was mesmerised, I bloody loved it! The science, the practical, the theory and magic was just Uber lush!

I still had to sit my written exams three times to pass because that format of learning was still not clicking (oh by the way I failed most of my GCSEs too) but I got there, I wanted it this time so kept trying, even though I thought it meant I should give up.

There’s still such lack in support for diversity in learning and most adults I work with, treat and are friends with have experienced challenges with this that’s continued into adulthood and compromised their confidence and ability to see the beauty in their own authentic ways!

Becoming a Reflexologist was never on the agenda , it would never have been something that was even spoken about in western education because it’s too “alternative”. There is no future in that - yet I learnt more about anatomy, physiology and pathology in just two years than I did in 15!

It keeps my dopamine pathways firing and it’s created an opportunity for me to challenge all my old thinking and habits in order to successfully create and run this business.

There is no other job I could sit this still for and not feel highly anxious because my brain would be so fed up and under stimulated.

It’s my passion to work with people who are discovering that everything they have thought was a negative about their ways, is actually their best asset once understood and accepted.

I see people come in with such interesting quirks and abilities , there is not any two people I treat the same and that is fascinating to me it keeps my spark alive.

I am so excited to be continuing to see the growth in so many people this year.

If you are interested in holistic treatments with a twist and a way to be more at ease with you you are and how you tick this might be what you are looking for.

I’d love to hear from you,

Huge love

Em x