It’s a Consistent Practice, But It’s Worth It!

I’m gonna give you a little insight to life with ADHD.

Imposter syndrome takes route at a very young age and can scream louder than loud to win all of your attention.

If you struggled hugely in primary school and high school to reach the targets and regimented ways of unfairly and inaccurately proving your intelligence - Imposter syndrome wins the show.

Then wack in a dollop of second guessing. You know in your heart your not stupid or “thick” but proving that in exams was not my strongest point- if I would have been able to speak about the subject or presented it in a more mentally capturing way - I am confident I would have had A stars also.

But that wasn’t an option. That then lead into immense second guessing “am I just making accuses?

(because if often be told that), am I just as “stupid” as they keep telling me? I must be because everyone else seems to be getting it?” 🤷‍♀️

Then add in the Rejection sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD- no this isn’t a form of stimulate drug).

Now this part is really hard.

You’ve spent your life working harder than you had the energy for , with little results to “prove” you were are capable, you then go through the “I give up” - your so frightened of more rejection on top of the constant rejection you’ve already had that you eventually learn to give up before you’ve even tried, not try at all, or try your best but riddled with anxiety, fear and shame which take up all your focus and you can concentrate on the take at hand.

This doesn’t just include exams or coursework, this included friendships/ relationships, sports, and you fear having dreams and passions because your at this stage where it seems like you’ll have more pride to loose than gain.

It gets you caught up in a trap and depression can kick in. Your now in the hole you’ve wanted to avoid so bad and you don’t know how your gonna get out.

Your Brain is always on the constant hunt for dopamine and as your getting older it’s getting harder and harder to meet the demand because your confidence is to pot!

Yet somehow amongst all of this - we’re missing all the amazing parts about ADHD, because the pain has cut deep.

We’re forgetting that we put in loads of effort to be accepted and acknowledged - we have a lot of unrecognised willpower!

We’ve fought tooth and nail for everything we have seen injustice in and will always always advocate for what’s fair - even when it’s not available and often falling on deaf ears.

We may have crashed and burned more than we can count on our fingers - BUT that was a result of consistent effort to make a life worth living regardless of walls we had to climb over.

It’s understandable we get burnt out, we try so bloody hard to make life work at the cost of our own well-being.

We speak out, break moulds and always have a huge amount of love to give and once we recognise we can no longer wear the masks anymore, we have to grieve for our childhood knowing we have ourselves a hard time all the time.

We may need more time to process and adjust to new things, we may have overwhelm and struggle to emotionally regulate - but there is good reason - there is still this warped idea that being superhuman is a superpower! It’s not it’s killing people!

Being kind, caring, passionate, willing to learn, willing to take risks, willing to keep getting up and trying no matter how many times it didn’t work proves strength, empowerment and tenacity.

I hope very soon all school systems create education to allow these strength to be recognised.

I hope very soon both workspaces, communities and families see this is NOT a DISORDER.

The difficulties faced with ADHD can be nourished, it takes a whole lots of practice to look at yourself and love who you are and your strengths after a lifetime of feeling worthless.

Will the negative self talk just stop? No.

But we can and will move on, we have to recognise the triggers and face them, the feelings and care for them, the tears ALLOW them. The worry and fears - acknowledge the patterns. And allow yourself some rest and then take the next step.

I am still on the journey of acceptance of who I am and the mistakes I make!

It’s a consistent practice , but it’s worth it!

Huge love

Em x